


Submerge

by canadino



Series: babysitting au [6]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 23:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5310545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakamoto explores insecurity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Submerge

Sakamoto is a lucky boy. He was born on the day his father wins the lottery, checking his ticket in the hospital waiting room against the television to avoid thinking of all kinds of labor complications, and his mother pushes him out without much trouble despite a family history of complicated births. On the first day of preschool, he wins the school raffle and earns himself a big, beautiful stuffed bear. It gets him a lot of playmates, although by the end of the year the bear ends up at the bottom of the nearby ravine, to no fault of his own. His father tells him, even without the lottery not many boys are so lucky to have a family who can afford to take him to excursions around the world and show him how different people live. For all his luck and worldliness, Sakamoto doesn’t have many friends and his sister tells him he might, if only he puts his mind to it. 

Sakamoto is a lucky boy. He changes schools halfway through his second year of high school - the worst time to change schools, although his sister doesn’t feel it because she’s already in college so she’s not around when they pack their belongings into boxes and move - and is at the mercy of a roomful of strangers who have already formed their own circles and groups one whole year ahead of him. But he sits behind a boy with silver hair who turns around between classes and tells him he wins for having the worst hair in the year and Sakamoto wants to tell him to fuck off, but he only smiles instead because he’s good at smiling and he’s not good at using bad words. The boy with silver hair asks him to eat lunch with him, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that asks him why he didn’t turn up at the roof like usual. Sakamoto wants to say, you didn’t invite me, and like usual? But now he’s expected, so he goes and eats with Gintoki and Katsura and Takasugi. 

He’s very lucky, because he gets in with the popular crowd. Popular isn’t really the right word to describe them, Sakamoto thinks to himself. Popular implies a social standing that can do no wrong and dictates the way the rest of the year behaves. But Gintoki gets in trouble for sleeping in class and Katsura is a brainiac and Takasugi is prickly and barbed. But, just like Sakamoto thinks he should have plenty of admirers for being so darned lucky, the three attract other people in a curious, magnetic way he can’t understand. Now, it appears he has friends by association. Sakamoto hunches over in the hallway so he doesn’t seem too much taller than the rest. 

“That cheeky way you talked back to the vice principal,” Gintoki was saying to Takasugi. “You totally stole it from Shouyou. That time he was caught taking pictures in the abandoned warehouse. He told that story to us a few days ago, so you were totally copying him.”

“No,” Takasugi bristles. Takasugi always bristles around Gintoki, puffing himself up although Sakamoto doesn’t think he has to. Gintoki’s always very delicate around Takasugi and his teasing isn’t malicious. “Maybe I was inspired, but I didn’t steal it.”  


“Shouyou would have delivered it much smoother,” Katsura agrees in the tactless way of his.   


“Hey, guys?” Sakamoto says, then laughs because he doesn’t want to sound that confrontational. He needs to think about his tone before he speaks. “Um, I’m right here, remember?” He laughs again. It isn’t that he wants them to explain this sort of inside joke, only he doesn’t know what it’s about and he feels left out.   


“You’d have to be blind not to see you,” Takasugi says drily, but they stop talking about his Shouyou person. Sakamoto learns later it’s Gintoki’s adopted father, and first name of Yoshida-sensei of the first years’ history class.   


[=]

“Katsura,” Sakamoto says. Katsura is studying, he’s always studying because he’s in the advanced classes. Sakamoto is too, which is why he’s in the library with Katsura. They have a test in two days. “What am I in the group?”  


“Sorry?” Katsura does things formally. It isn’t necessarily that he follows all the rules, but he goes through all the motions to do something when he has to. He doesn’t say _huh?_  and _what?_  like Gintoki might. “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”  


“Like...what role do I play in our group?” When Katsura frowns at him, he shrugs and feels his mouth move into a sloppy curve. “I mean, you’re the smart one, obviously. Out of all of us. And Gintoki’s the wild one and Takasugi’s the brooder. So what am I?”  


“I’m the smart one?” Katsura doesn’t need to pretend, because he’s very transparent. Sakamoto watches him glow with pride. Katsura takes every compliment seriously. “Well...I guess you’re the mood maker.”   


“Am I? Doesn’t Gintoki do that?”  


“I guess you’re right.” That isn’t what Sakamoto wants him to say. He envisions Katsura saying, Gintoki’s funny but he isn’t like you. It’s what he gets for being late to the party; everyone’s gotten assigned their spots but he’s lumbering along waiting for a place to be. “You don’t need to be anything. We like you just as you are.”   


Sakamoto laughs to cover up his disappointment. The librarian walks by and puts her finger to her lips. 

[=]

Takasugi’s always in a bad mood when Sakamoto talks to him, but then again, Takasugi’s always in a bad mood, period. He manages to shake off Makoto from class 2 and skulks along, not minding or noticing that Sakamoto takes care to walk slower to make up for their differences in strides. “I hate it when she talks my ear off,” Takasugi grumbles. “I wish people didn’t like me so much.” 

“What a selfish thing to say!” Sakamoto says. “What about the people who people don’t like, eh?” Takasugi looks at him and Sakamoto laughs loud and long so Takasugi can’t get in a word edgewise.   


[=]

Sakamoto cries in front of Gintoki while he’s babysitting. “Oh boy,” Gintoki says,  making sure Kagura is busy safely scooping sand into her bucket before walking over and putting an arm around Sakamoto. Gintoki’s hand is big and warm against his shoulder. Gintoki’s warm in general. His weight presses into Sakamoto’s right arm. “What’s wrong, eh? Tummy ache? Cavity?”

“I’m not hurting,” Sakamoto says.   


“You’re not? Then what’re you sad about?”  


“I’m not sad.” Sakamoto laughs to prove it, but his vision is blurry because his eyes are wet and he has big, fat tears sitting along the insides of his eyes. His laugh turns into a hiccup. “I’m not sad,” he says again.   


“Shh, it’s okay, Gin-san’s got you,” Gintoki says, rubbing his hand along his back. “Don’t cry. Kids are really sensitive to tears, so they’ll start crying if they see you cry too. I can only take care of people one at a time.” This only brings a fresh round of tears, and Sakamoto’s a quiet crier despite how loud his speaking voice is and how boisterous his chuckles are. “Okay, okay, I lied, I can totally handle three.” Kagura and Shinpachi are looking over curiously now. Gintoki’s got one hand on his back and one hand carefully holding his arm. “Isn’t it soothing? My dad says it’s cathartic crying because it takes so much energy.”   


“I’d rather run instead if I need to release energy.”  


“Running makes you sore too. The only thing you’ll have now is just really red eyes, but you’ve got those sunglasses of yours so no one will know.” Gintoki’s patting his hair now, the same hair that’s spun tighter than Gintoki’s own and it feels good. Sakamoto feels Gintoki’s fingers carefully knead through so as not to make tangles. Gintoki pushes the curls away from his forehead and kisses his temple, affectionate but platonic. For a second, Sakamoto wishes Gintoki would kiss him on the mouth too, but the thought passes. “Good thing you did this in front of me! Katsura wouldn’t know what to do and Takasugi’s got the emotional maturity of a rock.”  


“Are you sad?” Kagura asks. She’s wandered over with a pail full of sand. Six-year-olds are built differently here; she holds the bucket like it hasn’t got anything in it at all.   


“I’m really happy!” Sakamoto says. He grabs Gintoki, who yelps in surprise. “Because Kintoki thinks I’m his friend!”  


“Ugh, don’t call me that,” Gintoki says.  


“You’re a weirdo,” Kagura says, returning to the sandbox. Sakamoto watches Shinpachi ask her what’s wrong, which he knows because Shinpachi is doing his best not to look like he’s staring at him.   


“Better?” Gintoki says.   


“Better,” Sakamoto says, letting go of him, because clingy friends are terrible and an eyesore. But Gintoki doesn’t leave him on the bench, not immediately until Kagura starts knocking down Shinpachi’s sand castle for fun, so he’s lucky.  He’s lucky that his mother doesn’t ask him why he’s wearing his sunglasses inside and he’s lucky that his eyes look normal in the morning. Gintoki doesn't say anything at school. He’s gotten to a new level of friendship. Gintoki calls him Tatsuma.   


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was meant to have a minor relation to the babysitter AU with a polyamorous sequel but I'm not so sure about the sequel yet. It's up on tumblr if you are interested. Leave a comment if you liked!


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